I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
