do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm drive I can fine osifer
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
