Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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