and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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