im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
