There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
