That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Text me some of your sweat
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
