I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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