it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
