So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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