i think i have herpe
just one?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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