Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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