What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
