Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
