The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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