JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
