We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
