I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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