Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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