About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
MIDGETS
????
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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