im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
