And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize