But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
