I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
