Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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