i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
