i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
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