Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
