So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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