This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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