my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
