yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
