I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
