Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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