Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
