you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
