My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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