I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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