I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
