Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
