"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
