Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize