ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
