when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
