Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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