ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
