Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
