does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
