New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
