After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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