sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
