Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
