we have pet lesbian snakes
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize