So drunk its hurt
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
