I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
