Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
