Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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