You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
