You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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