Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
