I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
