I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
