ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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