is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
