What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
