she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
