You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
