Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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