Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
