you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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