It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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