So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
