It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize