Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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