Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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