Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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