Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
