it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
