my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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