My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
