oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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