I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
