Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All I want is dick and wine.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
