its not stalking. its research.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize