Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
