im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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