just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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