Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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