so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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