you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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