roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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